Vibrator Jokes

Q: What’s the worst thing a bride can say on her wedding night? – A: “I’m glad I didn’t throw my vibrator away.”

Q:What did the banana say to the vibrator?  – A: “Dont know why you are shaking mate. Its me she’s gonna eat”

A teacher asks the class to name things that end with ‘tor’ that eat things.

The first little boy says, “Alligator.”

“Very good, that’s a big word.”

The second boy says, “Predator.”

“Yes, that’s another big word. Well done.”

Little Johnny says, “Vibrator, Miss.”

After nearly falling off her chair, she says, “That is a big word, but it doesn’t eat anything.”

“Well my Dad knows a lady named Nancy that has one and she says it eats batteries like there’s no tomorrow!”

Ann Summers new vibrator for women is so realistic! Just before you reach a climax it cums, farts, goes limp, rolls over and then it switches itself off.

What do quorn and vibrators have in common?They are both used as a meat substitute!!

How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?She kick-starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.

An Essex Girl enters a sex shop and asks for a vibrator. The man says “Choose from our range on the wall.” She says “I”ll take the red one.” The man replies “That”s a fire extinguisher.”

As a woman passes her daughter”s closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked: “What in the world are you doing?!”The daughter replied: “Mom, I”m 32 years old, unmarried, and this is about as close as I”ll ever get to a husband. So please go away and leave me alone!”The next day, the girl”s father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, The daughter replied: “Dad, I”m 32 years old, unmarried, and this is about as close as I”ll ever get to a husband. So please go away and leave me alone!”A couple of days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room?She entered, and observed her husband sitting on the couch, sipping a cold beer, and staring at the TV.The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.The wife asked: “What are you doing?”The husband replied: “I”m watching football with my son-in-law”.